My Attempt

by amoxi   Feb 16, 2007


I watched as the light glistened off the silver off the knife
The exact knife that would soon take my life
It was so sharp and smooth to my skin
I knew that soon i shall begin
My wrist so badly itched to be cut
But i knew in my gut
That this would be a slow and painful ordeal
For i knew that it was my life God was about to steal
I slowly began to slice my skin
I then realized i was doing a sin
But it was to late as the came pouring
And i began soaring
From above i watched as the drops of
Slowly fell to the floor and stuck like a pile of mud
It splattered on the wood floor
Like a rain drop on a pond, just as someone opened the door
They screamed and ran
And once again my life began

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  • 17 years ago

    by in.need.of.a.lucky.charm

    The ending was awesome. although i dont really understand why you leave out the words blood and wh0re in all your poems, im assuming they are the words anyway. still wicked
    much love and many kisses,
    bex

  • 17 years ago

    by Laybelled with a name

    Wow, your such a good writing!
    I didn't not like anything in this poem.
    The wroding was good and the flow was very nice,
    its really very sad! *snifle snifle*
    My favs lines where:"But it was to late as the came pouring
    And i began soaring"-very nice... 5/5 good job!!

    My fav lines where

  • 17 years ago

    by Lauren Waszkiewicz

    O.o why is this under slang.. it doesnt have any slang in it. o.o

    i liked this one too. but remember you don't always have to rhyme aabbccdd. or aabb ccdd. try some new techniques! =]

    also, some of the lines were too short(ex. the gut line) and it made the poem slgihty choppy. =]

    -get this out of slang!-

    x.o Lauren

  • 17 years ago

    by Tricky Daze

    So sad but what's the matter with you honey?why are you that sad?hope things work out

  • 17 years ago

    by cowgirlstar26

    Sad, i can relate well that was my life like 2 years ago, hang in there :(

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