As I wake up each and every day,
I look around, and Why is the only thing I can say...
Its a new day, but everything is exactly the same,
I cry from the anger, my life is such a shame...
As I get ready in the morning it takes hours, making myself as pretty as can be,
but still no one ever notices me...
I walk through the school hallways as the only invisible one,
while everyone else is talking and having fun...
Every single day my sight gets more and more blurry,
Excitement for anything is gone and no matter what I'm never in a hurry...
Everyone around me thinks I'm crazy,
but now i think, yea it just may be...
I can never concentrate and my grades continue to drop,
Everyone thinks i don't care and tell me whatever I'm doing I need to stop...
I try to go everyday and try very hard,
but still all F's on my damn report card...
My parents divorced years ago because they hated each other,
Today I continue to live with my mother...
My father took everything he had and moved away,
I never get to see him but I think about him every single day...
Even though he doesn't give a damn about me,
Ill still love my father dearly...
He never sends letters or Christmas gifts and i don't really care,
He still thinks the child support he pays isn't fair...
I have two sisters, one younger one older,
We are very different, they are much more bolder..
Psychology says that middle children are left out and have to find their own way,
I know they are 100% right and have nothing to say...
When I was younger I was treated very differently,
Never wanted me around, I wasn't the one she wanted to see...
All sisters and brothers make fun of each other,
but it hurts a lot more if it includes your own mother...
Anything I ever did she would get so mad,
she would always say if I was gone how she would be so glad...
When ever i was around her I was silent and could never say a word,
If I ever made a mistake I never got a slap I got the extension cord...
Whenever I came home from school I was scared of what I might find,
I would always walk in and see her high out of her mind...
That was her rutine during the day,
and during the night, she would go away...
When ever she left she would find someone to watch us,
And I remember every time i heard He was coming over, i would fuss and fuss...
Kicking and screaming, but she never listened to my cries,
My childhood gone, 3 years I had to look into his eyes...
The neighborhood i grew up in had me confused to this world,
confused as I seen my mother kissing another girl...
Terrified of the darkness of night,
I couldn't be without a light in sight...
Thinking of my past, wishing it would all disappear forever,
Thinking my life would only get better...
continuing through life, and it only gets harder,
The road ahead just keeps getting farther...
I always wonder if I will live to see the next day,
and other times i just hope my life would go away...
All I can do is sit here alone and stare,
why, because no one cares...
Yes, i have loved, but now its all gone,
Broken hearted, thinking I was the one that did wrong...
I regret everything, to me life is just one big lie,
No one even cares that I'm dieing inside...
When thoughts run through my head, I think about ending it all,
thinking how great it would be for my tears to never again fall...
I take the steal to my wrists, I don't have to wait to die,
I hesitate, I cant do it, I cant, why?
What will happen next, what am I going to do?
Thinking, what is this life coming to?
but I will continue on until the day I die,
but i will never understand why?
