My world has become unexplainable,
I have become something despicable,
I am ashamed to call on gods name,
For I have learned that I am no longer the same,
Over this entire summer,
I have manage to turn a lover,
But cant seem to find the other,
And a monster,
That seems to have no mother
My life has no meaning,
And everyone is deceiving,
I wake each day to embrace sorrow,
Pain I feel though I am not a widow,
My heart is broken,
And to no one I have spoken,
Of the pain I feel,
Because my mind says it cannot be real
Success I have gained,
But not enough as I aimed,
Failure is my obligation,
As I come to see I have no other option,
To eradicated my priorities,
Is far than what I can do with my abilities,
A brilliant mind I seek,
But feeble me, I am oh so meek
Fatherly attention is missing,
And motherly depression is gaining,
Parental stress is upon them materially,
But what about me I hurt daily,
My eyes have yet to behold sibling happiness,
As I forever see my brothers as emptiness,
My forever hatefulness.
Gullible I am to believe in a mans hand,
Allowing myself to fall in quick sand?
Wanting to give so much love and joy,
And hoping to get it from a boy,
But I am only a toy,
In a game that I never understand,
A game that I lose at every stand,
Loving that way is not for me,
I have only experience what it could be.
Depression roams my heart,
Slowly but surely tearing me apart,
Anxiety fills my soul,
But my hopes have turned old,
The future is near,
And I will be lonely there,
To watch it come,
I pray to god and his son,
To have mercy on my soul and I know it wont be long
Till happiness I will sing in the form of a song.
