There's some cool stuff here! You certainly have an imaginative mind! I especially like the third stanza - very interesting. I was wondering at first if you shouldn't change the "it" in that third line to another "they," but now I'm not sure what "it" is. In the second line of the fourth stanza, I think you could take out the "so's" and have it better stay in the rhythm of the rest of the piece. I think that's my only suggestion for now. nice job!

Good write love. a really unique piece of poetry. loved wording, lovely stucture. well done!!

ruthie

It was very good

Wow, this poems like.. different from any I've read on this site thus far. Not different in a bad way either. Well.... It's been a nice read, and I'm looking forward to reading more of of your poems. 5/5

Really good....i like this line(And I breathe in the shining lives) it was a unique well writen poem

Nice oneeeeeeeeeeee