I can remember the very first time i cried
how i wiped my eyes
and buried the pain inside
all of my memories
good and bad times had passed
didn't even take this time to realize
staring at the cracks in the walls
cause I'm waiting for it all
to come to an end
still i curl up under my bed
cause it's taking over my head
all over again
you: do you even know who you are?
me: i guess I'm trying to find out who i am
you: is life good to you or is it bad?
me: i can't tell anymore
you: do you even know what you have?
me: no
lying awake watching the sunlight
how the birds sing and counting the rings around my sleepy eyes
I'm constantly pushing the world a side
i don't even feel the pain
i don't even want to try
I'm looking for the way to become
the person i dreamed up when i was 16
nothing is never enough
you: why are you hurting yourself?
me: I'm just wanting to get rid of the pain that I'm going through
you: don't you know there are people who loves you?
me:yes
you: don't you love them? and don't you love your best friends and your cousins?
me: yes
you: then, why don't you stop hurting yourself ?
me: i don't know why i just want to get rid of what I'm feeling inside.
you: don't you know your not only hurting yourself but your hurting others also?
me: i never realized it and i never knew
I'm a lonely girl
who everyone hate
and i even hate myself
i just wanna die
you: don't you know you have a little 4 yr. old little girl who is your cousin who knows you as her mother, don't you love her? you are the only mother that she ever known and she loves you so much and if that isn't love than i don't know what is
me: i know she loves me and i love her.
you: you also have her little sister who is 1 yrs old who loves you, and also a little girl who is 7 months old who looks up to you and loves you, don't you want to see them all grow up?
me: yes
you: then stay alive and quit hurting yourself.
me OK, i will.
i guess I'll always will be a lonely girl.
you: does the 4 yr. old little girl live with her real mom?
me:no
you: what about the 1 yr. old?
me: yes and so does her new born son.
you: why isn't the little 4 yr. old live with her mom.
me: because the mother had never took care of her i always did, and not only that when the little was 1 and a half months old her mom had took off with a guy and left the little girl with her grandparents.
you: so how did that little girl think you were her mother?
me: well from newborn to 1 and a half months old till her grandparents which was my aunt and uncle took her but i helped them raise her. i took her every other weekend that i went down there to my moms and during the summer i got 3 weeks during the summer 1 week in June and 1 week in July and 1 week in august.
you: oh i see well i g2g!bye.ttul.peace out< and i love you.
