What is it?

I wish i could say,
that i don't love you,
but that would be a lie,
cause i do,

i wish i could say,
i want you to go away,
but i don't,
i want you to stay with me day after day,

i wish i wouldn't cry,
when you say hurtful words,
but i do,
and when you say them we are in different worlds,

my mind is in whirls,
my heart has it's doubt,
but i want to be with you,
the past i want to forget about,

even though the pain haunts me,
but it haunts you to,
all i really want,
is to be with you,

you hurt me with your words,
why can't you just be the angel you are,
i mean,
i know that sounds bizarre,

but i truly love you,
and want you in my life,
without you,
my life is nothing but a strife,

I've always trusted you,
even when you let me down,
and i managed to stand up on my own,
when you dropped me on the ground,

i gave you chance after chance,
but yet you want more,
every chance i give,
ends up in a war,

i am no soldier,
nor to i want to be,
but you have to quit hurting me,
if you want to be with me,

your like an ocean,
gentle one moment,
wild the next,
you moods change instant,

i love you so much,
more then anyone in the world,
yet somehow,
you always make my mind twirl,

i can picture us sitting,
in the pale moonlight,
me and you,
and everything seems alright,

but then the war comes,
me and you shooting are words,
were you hiding your real self,
and is the real you starting to unfurl,

tell me what's wrong,
why do we always fight,
were aren't supposed to be fighting,
only holding each other tight,

i wish i could say,
that i don't love you,
but that would be a lie,
cause i do,.........

by,Denysia Chapman