My Masterpiece

by Yuna   Feb 21, 2007


The music flows through my veins,
it fills every crevasse,
every open space
filling me up with pleasure,
and hope.

My fingers start to move,
moving across the open paper.
making marks here and there
only stopping to think.

The music continues to play,
as my fingers continue to move.
The ups and down,
the peaceful notes.
plays a melody so soft
that angels must compete.

By the end of the song,
my fingers place the pen softly down,
my eyes scan the words,
so well put,
and exclaims,
"A master piece"!

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Hatori

    I really liked the topic of this piece, but some of the words were out of place. For example, in:

    The music flows through my veins,
    it fills every crevasse,
    every open space
    filling me up with pleasure,
    and hope.

    The last sentence seemed to need more to keep the flow going. This poem also reminds me of what you told me once before. Also, in this paragraph:

    The music continues to play,
    as my fingers continue to move.
    The ups and down,
    the peaceful notes.
    plays a melody so soft
    that angels must compete.

    The last lines seems out of place. Don't get me wrong, I like this piece, but these are just some pointers to make it even better! Keep it up!

    Hatori
    The Illusionist

  • 17 years ago

    by Gem

    I liked it =)
    You really showed a different side to it all. It's very relaxing and soothing.
    Nicely done
    5/5
    *Gem*

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