Ashamed

Cover the uneasiness in my face,
Hide me behind something nice.
Before I fuc% things up again,
For my wrongs I pay the price.

I've broken the rules one too many times,
Who knows when I'll ever learn?
Don't let me get away with this,
I fall from the ashes I continue to burn.

I'm not afraid of the shadowy darkness,
Nor of the blood beneath my skin.
I've fallen down for the hundredth time,
I'm ashamed of the feelings within.

I never understand when to stop,
I cannot seem to get in through my head.
The bullet goes in so much easier,
Dizziness comes from the blood I shed.

So I swallow my irrational fears,
I wake myself up from this horrible dream.
Don't even think to judge;
No one will ever know the real me.