To stop the rain

by ellewen   Feb 24, 2007


I try to breath
I'm suffocating
Try to heal
This heart that breaking
I try to survive
Please save me
This life I live
Please trade me

Words I've spoken
gone unheard
Tears I cry
Go unseen
I was scared
You flee from thee
Could you please
Believe in me?

To stop the rain
I feel it splashing
To stop the wind
I feel it thrashing
To stop the pain
I feel inside
To say a word
Is to lie

Hormonal hurricane
Twisted tornado
Full of pain
Rod of lightning
Do not strike
Roll of thunder
Hear my cry
Let it end tonight

To stop the rain
To see me smile
Let my heart rest
For a while
Cast the light
And watch me shine
One last time
Before you strike

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Midnight Sun

    This is a beautiful, beautiful piece. You have a small typo on your 4th line down, but besides that it's basically flawless! :) You did an excellent job skittles! Keep it up! 5/5 for sure.
    ~Midnight Sun

  • 17 years ago

    by Nick who Plays Pool

    Very nice, 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Hatori

    This poem has true meaning and I like that. The rythm was quite good and the words flowed. Quite frankly, that's hard to do. Great job! Some spots were a little touchy, and people have recognized that in previous comments, so I'll stop wasting your time. The use of the hurricane and tornado were an added touch. Keep it up :D
    Hatori

  • 17 years ago

    by SmileeItsBritt

    Well, this for sure is very well expressed
    I love the line:
    Hormonal hurricane
    Something about it that i cant explain... amazingly worded!

  • 17 years ago

    by The Queen of Spades

    Sorry these comments are so late! :\

    I really enjoyed this poem, the rhythm was on target, and the emotion was clearly there although I think you could have used maybe some descript words and the title doesn't really capture (to me) the essence of the poem. Still, excellent job! 5/5

    ~jas~

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