My knees start to shake when you're in sight.
My mind is filled with wonder, and I have to put up a fight.
As I sit here and fake a smile, the tears well up and I'm close to breaking down.
A tear escapes my eye, and it catches on my gown.
I look at you, and realize you're looking at me too.
You look so confused, and I want so badly to tell you.
But i feel shut out, and broken down.
Why am I so confused? With this body of mine all scratched up and bruised.
I grew up in a crowed, rough home; but even with living with 10 other people, I still feel alone.
And while being alone, all I'd do is think.
Think without taking a single blink.
I feel like the world is off limits to me.
I feel like I'm not allowed to explore, to be wild and free.
I'm so confused! I can't figure out what I did that was so bad and wrong.
Why can't someone just accept me? I want to belong!
You look so confused, and I can see that you are looking at the tears that are now streaming down my face.
As you keep staring, my heart starts to race.
What happened between us? Why can't we be together?
I want to be with you....maybe for a long time, like forever.
You said you still like me, if so, why can't we be?
Are you just leading me into something that isn't there?
Or do you really mean when you say you care?
I love you, and there's no confusion involved with me meaning that!
The confusion comes from you, so just please tell me if you love me too.
Not only are you shutting me out, but you're also shutting me down.
I'm already in pain, so please don't make me feel anymore that I have to.
So now I'm letting you know that I love you.
So please help me, so that some of the confusion will go away.
My love for you will never change.
Because you're like the blood that pulses through my veins.
So I don't know if I'd be able to live without you.
Because I haven't tried that one yet.
So I'll pray to god that you'll still love me too.
I can't believe I let you see me cry.
And knowing that you saw me, makes me want to die.
I promised myself that I wouldn't let you see me like this.
But I'm kinda glad, because it took a lot of weight off my chest.
But I need you to understand my confusion.
So therefore, I have just a couple of questions.
Do you still love me?
If not, can I have my heart back? So I can let go and be free?
I don't want to feel the pain anymore.
So either kill me, or let me give it to someone else to cure!
But I will never stop loving you.
And if worse comes to worse I won't ever forget you.
