Goodbye my love

Goodbye my love
I bid you farewell
I wanted so badly to want you
But my heart won't allow it
Tricked myself
In believing I loved you
But it is all pretend
The "I love yous" the hugs, kisses, everything
It is unreal

Some call me a magician
The way I love and then make it disappear
Don't think I don't care about you
I do
I would do anything to make you happy
But I can't be with you
You are not the one

I don't mean to sound shallow
Or act as if we were a lie
At first I cared and loved you
But then it changed
I changed
I sound shallow
So shallow
I am sorry

You can't force love upon somebody
I pretended that I loved you
I knew I didn't
But I shielded my eyes
I didn't want to see you hurt
So I made myself think it was real
You are my friend
One of my best
But we have nothing left

Nothing in common
I wish I could long for you
As I long for others
But I can't
There is no use in trying
I have and it doesn't work

I am sorry
I have no idea how to break it to you
It hurts me to feel this way
And have this in my mind all day
Anything I do makes this feeling worse
I have been down this road before
And it is always a dead end
With no space to turn around

I am nearing my dead end
Yet I keep cutting back the untouched passage
So I will go on living my lie
Hoping I can force myself to love you
So I can go on making you happy