I like it, seems a little forced and the rhythm seems a little out of order but other then that the message is clear and it's very genuine. Great Job Overall :D

-Emia Rose

I really liked the flow, but some lines were a bit awkward. Real great job though.

This was so sad...yet such a beautiful write.
The emotion overpowered me when I was readig this,and that last stanza was such a beautiful, bittersweet ending.
I love it!

It's so sad & sweet at the end... the last line is my fave.

In RE to "My Shoes": I hope you like competition, 'cause you're getting it! ;) May the best poet win ^_^ Thank you for your comment... I'm glad you liked reading!

5/5. This one is amazing. The flow was such a great thing in this. It spoke to me like a book. All of you guys's poems speak to me! Great write. Thanks for entering the contest.

Yeahh that was good !!! you should neverr ever let a guy break your heart i would of laughed in his face what a jerk haha nice poem i love it

Very good!! xx

This is really good! you did a great job writing this poem! 5/5

~Kristina

Gosh I really really like it. It fits my situation right now. Good work :)

Aw. This is so sad. But, so very beautifully written. It flowed really really well & nothing seemed force. It was very descriptive, as well. It was so deep & powerful. Really touched my heart.

Spelling mistakes:

A part of my would die [my should be 'me'].

But I can see that it was touble from the start. [touble should be 'trouble'].

Favorite stanza:

I want to tell you not to leave,
But I can see that it was touble from the start.
So now as I watch you walk away,
I whisper, "Unbreak My Heart."

^ This was just so captivating. Ah. I can't even explain it. I loved these lines. The very last line.. absolutely amazing!!

Beautifully penned, babe.

Bri x

COMMENT # 2

wow.. i LOVE this poem... the word choice is wonderful... beautiffully expressed emotion .. however in this line "A part of my would die." i think you meant [me] not "my"