Your Mask

by ASPHYXIATED   Feb 27, 2007


They say you're broken up inside,
Afraid of yourself so you hide,
Beneath a mask skillfully crafted,
And your every word is perfectly drafted,
Cant speak the truth in case they judge,
Wont dislike or hold a grudge,
Try be perfect be who you're not,
And drain your body of all its got,
To be that skinny pretty girl,
Over the sink you vomit and hurl,
Wash away the dirty feeling,
Lie on the ground and stare at the ceiling,
Make a wish upon a star,
Pray perfection isn't too far,
Count the hours list the days,
Back and forth your body sways,
They say you're broken up inside,
Afraid of yourself so you hide,
Destroy yourself and be reborn,
Your mask is now over worn.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by xoxShorteexox

    OKAY! Share your talent, dang! Lmao.
    I'm just kidding. I really loved this, perfection seems to be the world's latest trend...
    Well, anyway, you wrote this poem beautifully. The emotion is powerful and overwhelming.
    5/5
    ily
    xxxx

  • 17 years ago

    by Simple Sensation

    Hmmm... well i have to say i can relate to this girl. The title drew me in, becuase i guess you could say i have a mask myself.

    "Try be perfect be who you're not,
    And drain your body of all its got,
    To be that skinny pretty girl,
    Over the sink you vomit and hurl,"

    ^ i really liked that bit of the poem. Probably because i can relate to it, but it was just really great. The poem was really great becuase none of the rhyming seemed forced at any point, and it worked really well with the poem. I like the aliteration, "Pray perfection"- it was great. The conclusion was really strong. You bringe back the thought of a mask... and like i said i can relate to it. Very enjoyable yet... quite i dont know, maybe its becuase i can realte to it so well i felt as though i was reading about me. Keep writing...

  • 17 years ago

    by Polly

    This is such a great poem. I really love it.
    I know how it is to try and be the girl in the poem, so it's also really nice to hear negative things about being like that, as most poems to do with it are about like how it feels to be like that and that kind of urges you on, if you know what I mean...
    What makes it such a good poem compared to others is you have such a strong point in the poem it doesn't just ramble on, every words seems worth being there.

    Thankyou so so much for the comment on my poem, all the things you said were so helpful, and they were all things I knew needed work on but I just couldn't think of the right word... so I'm really thankful you helped me out :-)
    keep writing you are amazing!

    - Polly

  • 17 years ago

    by cupidsxvictim

    This is unbeileveable.. no Im being so serius right now. You should submit this to a contest. I'd definately give you first If I were the judge. One of the best poems on this site <3

  • 17 years ago

    by Karma Hope

    This poem was a good read, I picked up on what you were putting out there as soon as i read the first few lines, i think its a very good skill to pull the reader in and them knowing the feel of the poem straight away and you pulled it off nicely... Good work =)

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