True Love Still Exists

by ASPHYXIATED   Feb 28, 2007


Kiss me and my worries wash away,
Your gentle lips the cure to my horrid day,
Your strong arms my cage to the outside land,
My hopes and dreams lie in the palm of your hand.
You're oblivious to the power you hold deep within,
Your innocent mind incapable of sin,
Your eyes sparkling fill me with belief,
And in your arms I feel such relief.
Such beauty hides beneath an insecure shell,
Lost in emotion filled thoughts I silently dwell,
You're my miracle sent down from up above,
To prove to the world there's still true love.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Vanessa

    The word choice again was amazing the flow was flawless, the emtion was deep strong and clear, again you have outdone yourself, take a bow, for you are the star that just stole the show, great job 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by N J Thornton

    Hmm I think I liked this overall. It was sweet and simple. Of course it's an overused subject, but actually you wrote this quite well.
    I have some suggestions...
    I think after "lips" on the second line and "arms" on the third line you should add punctuation, maybe a semi-colon?
    Furthermore, I know you're really good at rhyme so I expect a bit more from you than rhyming "above" with "love" it's too average for your work lol.
    Thanks for sharing.

  • 17 years ago

    by Debbie

    I am enchanted.

    I was extremely captivated by the smooth flow, rhythm and rhymes that I read this line, "Your eyes sparkling fill me with belief," as, "Your eyes sparkling fill me with DISbelief." Haha, how silly of me!

    "Your gentle lips[;] the cure to my horrid day,
    Your strong arms[;] my cage to the outside" land," -- It's just a suggestion; no need to incorporate it with your piece. =]

    On the whole, this is an amazing piece about disproving the ridiculous "theory" that Love doesn't exist. Without a doubt, this was written lavishly well. I'm in awe whilst rereading it over and over again. Kudos'
    Keep on writing what you feel and like.
    all the best and take care.
    Debbie

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