Aww i loved it, it was writen with such passion and that clearly shows. it flows perfectly. well done

much love and many kisses,
bex

Wow amazing job. i could defiantly see this as a song, only theres no chorus in it =[, but it's still really good. 5/5

~Kristina

Aw! That was so cute, yet really sad. I can deffinitley see this as being a wonderful song. Although, like [Shattered Heart] said, There is no chorus. But it's still wonderfully written.

It was very beauitful. Nothing seemed force & the rhymes were good and not so cliche.

Amazing. Keep it up.

Bri.x

This poem is amazing. absolutely brilliant! the wording is great... along with teh flow

Hope that song thing works out for you

your servant:
david

Writen with such passion I can defenitley see this as being a wonderful song, but there is again as said above no choure great tho keep at it

So this is a song...thats cool...poetry, lyricist what other talents might you have haha. Good poem, a little more original than im used to reading which is always a plus. Keep up the work...perfection takes practice...which is my problem...im not that big of a poetry fan but oh well...and while im here feel free to apply to a club my friend and i have made 'poetry world domination' i leave all the accepting up to my superior though, or thats what she thinks she is...but im rambling...thanks for the comment

-Jason-

Nice job, you had good rhythm. I liked how you combined free-style with rhymes. There was a spot in which your should be you're. Keep it up

Amzing ...
it did sound like a soung...
and girl u are soo good with your words...
keep it up!

Song, poem, book, story, whatever it is amazing! Great job. Keep up the awesome work! God bless 5/5
Please check out As We Dance, and Runaway..only if you would like.
<3Tayyy

I love it .
It has a good rhythm & I love how it`s rhyming and free style .
I was hooked from the very first line .
Awesome job .
..__MiNDYY

5/5! so much emotion put into it, good job!