Every Time

Every time I speak,
The words don't come out just right.
The more my heart beats; the more I'm weak.
The less I try; the less I fight.

Every time I look back,
The thoughts in my mind just make me cry.
When ever I actually smile; thats when you attack.
and thats why I want to die.

Every time I think,
I think of doubt; I always ask myself why.
A tear drops down every time I blink.
There's no one here to clear my eyes.

Every time I listen,
I hear the voice of lies.
The words of regret; Sins of a Christian.
Words I understand; Yet I despise.

Every time I walk,
I debate if I should take that next step.
I'm dead inside; Dead as a rock.
I dreamed of a better life as I slept.

Every time I breathe,
I wonder if I'm making a mistake.
Yeah I know you lie; But I try to believe.
i try to understand what I know is fake.

Every time I try,
I feel like I've committed a crime.
How often had my heart been broken you ask?
Every time....