Raw Rebellion

My dear Father of the Universe,
I cannot seduce You with beautiful words.
Negotiating my destiny sounds a bit perverse,
But Oh Lord it seems I'm living a curse.

I reach out to You in my own pathetic way,
And I cringe at the sounds of Your Grace.
The more I try to heal, the more I stray,
Why am I forever stuck in one place?

I do realize that all my questions are in vain,
Human insignificance is usually left unexplained.
How can such a blessed body experience so much pain?
The more I break free the more I feel chained.

A causeless rebellion has left an empty road,
In my heart, in my soul, in my eyes.
I'm totally lost and my skin feels so cold,
Maybe it's myself that I so much despise.

My head says calm down but my heart's fury grows deeper,
As I shut down this system to glory.
Oh why is my spirit feeling weaker and weaker?
I just don't want to be another fruitless story.