Sweet Salvation in Death

Duct tape my mouth and silence these words
Somebody, please take me out before I speak,
Misery on the mind, infected with contagious evil,
One reoccurring thought--the future is bleak.

Somebody, please tie me down and hold me
Please, God, release some of my pain, I request
Salvation in the form of flowing blood from skin,
Lack of oxygen to free pressure in my chest.

Irreconcilable desires, one to die and one to live.
My heart is heavy, shot down in a selfless act,
But eyes are tired of crying, and thoughtlessly,
I'd rather give in and eternally, in hell, be cracked.

Oh, in agony, drag a knife through fragile flesh
In desperation, down as many pills within sight
I'm doing the best I can to fight myself to live
But in this darkness I can see not a ray of light.

Then, when all is said and done, I can look back,
Scatter the broken memories across the linoleum floor,
Find the sharpest dagger; admire it for a few seconds,
A simple solution with permanent plans to adore.

Oh I love every minute of this glorious tragedy,
A holy crime it is to extract pain from everyone else.
Angels will glare at me, enviously, for my sacrifice
For I can prove that I can love more than myself.

Yes, indeed, but now would be a good time
To lock my altruistic intentions inside a drawer.
Gather up these memories and hide them,
And put on the same smile I had on before.

For my end will come all too soon and merciless,
And I shall be ever grateful when I can see the sun,
Instead I place on this smile, knowing sweet release
Will come at the end of the barrel of this gun.