Goodbye

To my superficial friends, you know who you are,
To you my death would never leave a scar.
I'll fade to a memory of a boy who once was
Always happy in your eyes and that's just because
You never stopped to look clearly, to see trapped inside
The tortured soul that wept there, and always just lied.
For if the truth you knew, you would never stay,
You'd be silent, not helpful, and just drift away.

To my family who hid, you never did know,
Even when I let all these old scars show,
You were blind to the truth, you never could see,
The fake that replaced what once was me.
So I gave up waiting for you to come around,
For this smile masks one who was never found,
And because of this I never wanted you to stay,
I put all my effort into pushing you away.

To the people I let in, though you number few,
I always treasured my time spent with you.
Those were times I was happy, or let misery show,
And when you were there for me my love did grow.
For with you I felt whole, I felt finally free,
I was never afraid to let go, to just be me.
For the truth you were told, but still you did stay,
Until I fell too far and pushed you away.

To those that saw the truth, but didn't want to believe,
Don't let this burden you, I wanted to deceive,
Don't get stuck on the what ifs, for it would hurt me more,
For if you could've changed things, you would've done before.
I hate to do this to you, and I hate what I've become,
But I know of nothing else so I shut it all out and run.
I don't want to do this, but I can no longer stay,
I must free myself from this lie, and just drift away.

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- Written: 27th November 2006
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