A Vague Memory

by BlueEyedMystery   Mar 5, 2007


I barely remember that night,
The memory is so vague,
There was screaming and blood,
They were both a plague.

From what my memory allows,
I snuck quietly into her house,
Patiently waiting in her closet,
Behind her crimson blouse.

Attentively listening to every sound,
As to not miss her arrival home,
Hearing my heartbeat in my chest,
Desperately wishing to roam.

The next thing I remember,
Furious slashes were being made,
She was screaming for mercy,
As blood doused the blade.

After that my memory blanks,
I have told you all that I know,
I will remain here 'til the day i die,
That day is comming ever so slow.

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Latest Comments

  • 16 years ago

    by Darien

    "That day is comming ever so slow. "
    'coming'

    Wow, I really fancied the rhymes. They were really catch. It flowed really well. I also liked the vivid imagery. Your choice of words were great, made it very descriptive, which was easy to imagine.

  • 16 years ago

    by Gizmo

    'I will remain here 'til the day i die,
    That day is comming ever so slow'
    very powerful part in the poem, very good last line.

    your vocabulary thorughout and your use of words was brilliant.

    although as ... says ^ some parts were quite awkward, fixing them could really enhance your poem.

    there was alot of emotion behind the poem.

    i had to read the poem a few times, cause i didn't no what you were talking about at the start but i got into it :]

    well done

    amy x

  • 16 years ago

    by Niinaa

    It was amazing its like i was in the poem just waiting then going through that scenario ...Amazing 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Monica93

    Wow... i felt like i was actually there watching the whole thing.. i love how you didn't portray yourself as the victim... catchy i wouldn't change a thing...
    LoVe
    Monica

  • 17 years ago

    by Cainer

    Very nice Very nice!

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