My own fate

by umbra   Mar 5, 2007


I wish upon a star every night,
to try and end my plight.

I blow a kiss to the moon,
wanting someone to make me swoon.

I look in and about all the trees,
even as hope becomes something fleet.

I watch as my idle heart tries to grow,
pushing forth into a great unknown.

Forget the stars, forget my chains,
for today I make my own fate.

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Latest Comments

  • 15 years ago

    by Christina Gomes

    You won me over at the very end. That's a great closing line

  • 15 years ago

    by Rolo

    I think this poem would be better if the first 3 stanzas hadn't suggested perfect rhyming. It was hard to find the flow after that. Maybe this is exactly what you wanted...in which case you shouldn't take into consideration what I've said. Though I really do appreciate the content and message. I think it's a very beautiful piece, short and to the point. I enjoyed this. Nice job.

    -Rolo :]

  • 15 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Short to the point write. I liked the rhyme and the flow of the poem. Well written for such a short write, at first I was skeptical that it was going to be too short, but you ended this very nicely not leaving it up in the air like many short poems. Nice write!

    Peace, Joe

  • 15 years ago

    by Kaila

    I liked this and it's very relatable. The ending stanza was by far my favorite it summed up the poem very nicely. Nice job
    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by x Mo x

    That was nice. The image was great. But the rhyming was forced, and the flow was a little off. I still like it a lot, but it could have been better. Good job though.