I love it!!!

Hey, i revised Drinking and Driving. Check it out!

Sorry, for some reason it wouldn't edit! i re did it. it's called Drinking and Driving-2

Aw, this was a really sad poem. guys can be such jerks! i hope your doing ok.
Much love and many kisses,
Bex

I really like this poem because its how a guy i know makes me feel & it sucks. the flow is good & so is the wording

Another great poem. All I have to say is just keep up the great work. You have talent. God Bless 5/5
<3Tayyy

Your poems are so good!! and this poem is good, the flow is great and it has real emotion behind it, i loved it, but its sad that you have to go through that, some guys are such jerks!
xoxo Lucy

OMG...how sad...i hope this isn't true because i hate for it to have happined to you...this is my favorite poem of yours i have read so far...although you messed up the rhyme scheme in one part(In the 9th stanza)...the part about dirt could have used a lil more originality...Over all i liked it though...
Your friend>Jonda Beth

So sad but lovely.
If this is true, I hope you're doing well...

Best of wishes hun..

take care

Very sad message. You got it across quite well. Yet I have some suggestions.

"Thinking about her lost love
About in tears from pain"

^That little excerpt there makes no sense. Whatsoever.

You have some minor grammar mistakes "Your" instead of "You're" for one.

Again, your rhymes seem very forced and juvenile. Work on that by expanding your vocabulary.

Sometimes the flow was very jumpy and hard to follow. One second I would get what I was reading, the next second I would have to reread to get the idea.

You didn't really give details on what he did more as how you dealt. It would make a lot more sense if you gave readers details on the initial event that hurt you so much.

All in all, not bad.

Aww im sorry. i can relate because i keep going back also to someone. this is amazing. i love it!

This is a nicely written poem. the flow was great. but the ending didnt seem complete.
I think ending on "Your that chick who gave it to me" would give it a nice ending. it would be one big jaw dropper.

the rest of it was great. i enjoyed it.

OUCH...you did a great job of conjuring up a feeling that I'm sure most of us (female, at least) have felt...kinda leaves you breathless--It had been a while since something like that happend to me, and your poem was like getting kicked in the chest with that emotion... great job

I loved this poem. YOu did a great job. It's easily related to, as well.
I hate the rhyming of hurt and dirt, though. :/ Idk why, i think because people use it a lot. In certain areas your flow was off, but overall it was okay.

you did a great job, keep it up.
5/5

Hello,
Again I can really empathise with this poem, so I think that it's fantastically written.
I like it that his poem reads like a story, and it's so easy to read.
I this is what your going through and you want to talk send me a PM.
Well done honey x

Wow, so much emotion within this poem. This was an excellent write, just a few minor mistakes here and there which I am about to explain. Other than that this was greatly written. Keep up the great work.

This line, "About in tears from pain" I think it would flow better if you worded it like this, "Almost in tears from pain"

Also this line, "I smiled at him he didn't even care" I think would flow better if you changed it to this, "I smiled at him and he didn't even care"

Again, this line, "He acted like i wasn't there" I think would flow better if it was, "And he acted like i wasn't even there"

Yet again, I think this line, "And said excuse me remember me" would flow better if you changed it to this, "And said excuse me, do you remember me?"

This line, "Your that chick who gave it to me" you used the wrong "your" it should be "you're"

Peace, Joe

This is so sad but its very good

Nice ending, good poem. :) sorry i'm leaving such skimpy comments lol i just dont always have a lot to say.

I absolutely loved this poem. I've felt what you went through and I know how you felt and this poem is a great representation of that. Your emotions come out strongly and the flow was great.

"He told me I was beautiful
He said I had it all
But after he got what he wanted
He left me there to fall"

I love this part the most because thats what most guy do.

5/5 amazing poem