A really good poem I felt. I'm not usually a fan of death poems because they're usually all the same. You know 'I couldn't stand the pain in life, so to my wrists I held this knife'. Its all the same. I think this poem was a little like that but I liked yours because your character kept trying to die but just didn't have much luck. Oddly, I found that quite amuseing. I think the story was the best thing here, closely followed by the superb flow that you kept throughout. Good work love. I'm off to read part two.

Brad

P.S. Thank you for you comments on my poems.