You're creative but i didn't understand a thing

The demon if you.

What did you mean by this?
It will be more clear just add more words for this to be more understandable
But other than flawless
See ya
Laura

This kind of confused me. I didn't know if some things you were writing were just mistakes, or if you actually meant them and I just fail to understand it.

"When the demons surrounds you:" - 'surround' should not have an 's' on the end.

And I was also confused at the "The demon if you." line. Did you mean "The demon *is* you."?

Anyhow, it was rather creative. Nice effort.

Well... it seems a little scattered, and I couldent really catch a rythm. It could have been a bit longer, and I would have suggested turning "The demon is your past,
The demon if your future
The demon is your present
The demon if you. " into the chorus. Repeat it from the beginning down to make the poem a little more smooth.

This is very nice, i really enjoyed reading it. keep up the good work. 5/5 =)

Well i dnt give a shit about what other people had to say about it. i loved it. you shouldnt owrry about how is sounds. its about the meanin that you are tryin to put across. i liked it cheak mine out
xoxo jessie

Sweetheart you seemed so depressed!!! I love your poems so much but i am so confused at why you are feelin this way if these really are your feeling. Pplease read my poem "I know it's Hard."

Thats very good, you have a real talent hun x x

I have a poem similar to this love. great work. yes, my poem was based on that song. i wanted to add a little to it. i have that song on my myspace. and i was listening to it when i was trying to write; and well she just inspired me lol. my poem is still a little too much like the song. i don't feel like i really made it my own, yah know? anway, i will write a poem soon and use more punctuation just for you love. lol.

anyway great write, thanks for sharing it =)