Words

by Kaila   Mar 10, 2007


I hate the way this feels
This emptiness inside
I wish there was someone here
Someone safe that I could confide

My secrets are unwritten
No one knows there true
They can't see the pain
I'm really going through

There words hurt like thorns
Digging into me
To bad they don't notice
If only they could see

The sound on your monotone voice
Burns right through me
Like an iron
Scolding me deeply

Now I don't know what to do
To get this pain off my chest
I wish you'd forget it
And give it a rest

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Excellent write, with much emotion. I felt this could be a lot better if it had puncuation through out. The flow was good as well as structure. Good Job.

    This line, "No one knows there true" just a minor mistake, you used the wrong "there" it should be "they're"

    Peace, Joe

  • 17 years ago

    by Austin

    You are such a great writer...so much emotion put into this poem...wonderful Kaila...i loved it like all your others.

  • 17 years ago

    by Teria

    "No one knows there true"
    ^ It should be 'they're'
    "There words hurt like thorns"
    ^ Their, not there.

    I actually liked this poem, I can relate to it in ways. Which is something I absolutely love about your poetry. I think it could use a bit more punctuation. But, it was great.

    Keep it up.
    5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by MemoirsOfMe

    Hm, it seems like you're trying a little too hard to rhyme in this pome. The flow was a little off, but I liked you're overall concept. There were some great metaphors. Just work on letting it freely come out of you, don't force it.

  • 17 years ago

    by The Lonely Rose

    Wow...... very good poem once again....i thought this would b in life but this fits the right place and nice ryhming *srry cant spell* keep on writing

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