Too bad, not to bad. hey you should know that you can always talk to me. i am here for you.

well this poem flowed really well. amazingly well. talented poet you are!

5/5 David

Awe.. thats so sad. =[ i feel like i have been there.. thank god i made it through.. yes.. someone to confide in helps. haha.

5/5 good job with capturing the emotion..

On first read, this poem is slightly hard to understand. Once I read it again, though, I really enjoyed it. It’s quite meaningful for being so short.

I did notice three mistakes:
’No one knows there true’ should be
‘No one knows they’re true’
’There words hurt like thorns’ should be
‘Their words hurt like thorns’
and
’the sound on your monotone voice’ I think… should be
‘the sound of your monotone voice’

The third and fourth stanzas seem to fit quite well together. Both have excellent imagery- words/thorns and voice/iron. I especially love the simile in stanza three because you can really picture what you mean.

I love the irony in stanza four… the ‘monotone’ voice burning when usually it’s a harsh, scolding, or angry voice that burns. It’s almost as if you’re saying that the fact that they are so neutral or uncaring about what they are saying is what burns. And then you’ve mixed in the irony that the voice is scolding while being monotone. As if they’re scolding you because they have to. I could be completely wrong here, but that’s how I interpreted it.

My favorite part of the first stanza was that you can feel the emptiness. Usually emptiness symbolizes a lack of feeling, but here you’ve kind of twisted the meaning… this makes it quite easy for the reader to relate to.

All in all, I really enjoyed this poem. Great job! 5/5

Wow, Kaila, you did a nice job on this poem, This poem has some amazing wording. The imagery is strong, the literary skills placed in here run deep. The emotion is so strong, even I can feel the pain. When a poem moves a reader the poet knows they have succeed in their writing. You, my friend, have succeed. The connections you made drew everything deeper. Your rhyming kept it well formated and strong. The structure was fabulous, as well as the poem itself. The message laid out was painful and often true to many.

My secrets are unwritten
No one knows there true
They can't see the pain
I'm really going through

I relate to that part too well.

There words hurt like thorns
Digging into me
To bad they don't notice
If only they could see

That was my favorite part.

You may not like me saying this because it is totally up to the poet, but this piece needs punctuation. I parts of this poem I found that there needs to be an indication of a pause, I'll let you place it in there yourself.

Keep up the work. <3 5/5

I know exactly how you feel!!! hold your head up lil one, you will soon see the light, its too early to quit the fight! haha that rhymed... sry, great poem though, i loved the flow
5/5 from me

xoxo Lucy

Me again! I really was impressed by the second stanza:
My secrets are unwritten
No one knows *they're true
They can't see the pain
that I'm going through
the poem overall expresses a deep pain...i could feel the emotion coming off of it...It was good...The flow was bttr...Overall it was nice and had a good theme also...
Your friend>Jonda Beth

Wow i reallly likeed that one1 The rhythm was greta and it kept me interested! Overall the flow surprised me compared to the otherone I just read. Sorry the other one was just uninteresting to me but this one is better. It seems mysterious in a way. but there is a part I found off yet again lol.

"There words hurt like thorns
Digging into me
To bad they don't notice
If only they could see"

you used the word their* in correctly.
Or atleast I think. Maybe not but thats how I saw it.
And the ending ... well there wasnt one. It just ended. You should have went on. I was dissapointed that it didn't go on. You should consider extending it. because any poem with a good flow like that shouldnt end after only 5 stanzas. (well unless you are talking to people who cant stand the proper length of anything. One liner peoples. lol anyway.

I suppose my favorite part was

"I hate the way this feels
This emptiness inside
I wish there was someone here
Someone safe that I could confide"

I think I liked this because I can relate to it so well. Often I feel the same. Well on with the other comments. I have along way to go. Just know im not goign to get very far with my schedule.

buh bye

~skittz

My secrets are unwritten
No one knows there true
They can't see the pain
I'm really going through

Love this stanza, I can relate to it. Lots of people can relate to it! 5/5

Aw. So sad ;[ But really well written. It flowed wonderfully & nothing seemed forced.

No one knows there true [ 'there' should be 'they're' or 'they are' ]

There words hurt like thorns [ 'there' should be 'their' ]

Wonderfully penned, hunny.

Bri [x]

It's sad but I liked it. 5/5 xoxo

Samantha

Goodness, another amazing poem.
the last two stanza ' s had a bad flow, not bad, but they went with the poem still.

This is an amazing poem, hun.

5/5
-teria

Wonderful poem. i love the way u express ur thoughts and deep feelings. also the emotion was great. keep up the good work 5/5

Omg.... love love love it! youre such a great writer

Wow...... very good poem once again....i thought this would b in life but this fits the right place and nice ryhming *srry cant spell* keep on writing

Hm, it seems like you're trying a little too hard to rhyme in this pome. The flow was a little off, but I liked you're overall concept. There were some great metaphors. Just work on letting it freely come out of you, don't force it.

"No one knows there true"
^ It should be 'they're'
"There words hurt like thorns"
^ Their, not there.

I actually liked this poem, I can relate to it in ways. Which is something I absolutely love about your poetry. I think it could use a bit more punctuation. But, it was great.

Keep it up.
5/5

You are such a great writer...so much emotion put into this poem...wonderful Kaila...i loved it like all your others.

Excellent write, with much emotion. I felt this could be a lot better if it had puncuation through out. The flow was good as well as structure. Good Job.

This line, "No one knows there true" just a minor mistake, you used the wrong "there" it should be "they're"

Peace, Joe