THis one is great with leixical quality and great flow. 5/5 all the way for the nice rhymes ;)
tc

Oh wow.... your emotions were well portrayed in this even if it was short. it gave me chills which only happens when something is good. i think you are a really good writer and honestly would do well in my contest if you want to join. there is still room. Its titled "First Contest" and im not just saying that so you will enter im saying it cuz you are an amazing writer. 5/5