Why do i feel this way...i feel so guilty that i did not attend your funeral. but grandpa did not want me to? i don't understand why he did not want me to. now i feel like i betrayed you grandma why...? that is all i keep asking my self i feel like i betrayed you and that i hurt you so much it feels like i stabbed a knife in my heart and took it out like over and over again why do i feel this way still...you were my grandma and the best person i have ever known except for grandpa, i miss you grandma so much ....it is killing me inside so much, i just do not know what to do with my self any more. i feel like i should die. what is a girl to do with out you....i did not even say good bye and i feel awful about that,,,,but he said do not come and i don't understand why i wanted to come to your funeral you were my favorite grandma you cared about me and every thing around you, you were like the dew in the morning on the grass in the summer time, your the morning bird that make you just want to smile cause they are sining you songs to other love birds ....rest in peace grandma
