Just Another

Flicking through the playlists,
Nothing seems to suit,
Nothing reminds me enough,
Of you, nothing seems to be your,
Justice.

The burden of being set free,
It's heavier than last,
I thought I'd be
Numb
Empty
Hollow,
But, my bitter God,
The weight of it all.

Play a love song, my dire,
No, it's not right,
She leaves him,
This was my fault,
I'm sorry. Truly.

Here's one. Will this suffice?
It's an old song.
I haven't listened to it in a while.
Not since...
Do you like it?
Is it too loud?
Are you even listening?

Sitting on the bed.
Slipping into meditation,
Like I sometimes do,
We were never that religious.

The song finishes.
The words carry on.
They sound
Regretting
Desperate
Afraid,
And silence itself,
Could not drown out its mournful wails.

The time we shared, the life we built, it's ruined now, replaced with guilt, to leave and die, to stay in peace, torment the brain without a cease, a worthless boy called "Just Another", who craves the slandered for a lover, to tear out hearts, and blood that spilled, it is not those who die he killed.

It's quiet.
I miss the words in my head,
I wish I could remember them,
Like water through fishnets,
They disappear humbly,
Into tempting solitude.

Don't play the song again.
Close the playlist.
Walk away from the bed.
To the window.
Draw the curtains,
Reveal light to this vampire,
Accursed
Condemned
Alone,
The sun is setting,
Another wasted day.
Out there wars are being fought,
Why do we fight when we know we've lost,
In here a war is being fought,
I'm not fighting.

Thinking of you.