How did i mess up... again

Inside my blood boils,
my heart turns to black,
in the middle of it,
is a straight crack,

my eyes turn cold stone,
my feelings i must hide,
no one must find,
the pain that hides deep inside,

i trusted you,
let you in on my life,
you said you would help me,
through any strife,

you said you'd die for me,
and you'd pick up my tears as the fell,
the only thing you've done,
is caused me great hell,

you said i was perfect,
and i wouldn't understand your pain,
now you hardly talk to me,
and you aren't drying my rain,

my eyes are blue clouds,
that drown my misery,
but underneath the sadness,
i am full of fiery,

you betrayed me your own friend,
talking to me once a week wow that is so much,
sad part is,
i am still under your love clutch,

i gave you my heart,
something i was afraid to do... another time around,
but i gave you another chance,
and you have dropped me on the grown,

my cane,
but you broke,
looks like again,
the real you has awoke,

i love you so much,
but yet hate you too,
i want to trust and love you,
but i don't know what to do,

you stabbed me with a dagger,
and now i am bleeding deep inside,
and now i must wait till you go,
and my pain i must hide,

how can i be fooled,
even though it happened before,
i thought you really changed,
i thought i knew for sure,

i don't know what to think,
your with me but i am alone,
you make my soul turn from brownie soft,
to solid concrete stone,

the hurt punches my insides,
bruising what's left us this heart,
what did i ever do to you,
for you to let me fall apart,

i let you love me again,
even though we were just friends,
somehow you make my heart so together,
then the healing ends,

each tear drop stings my face,
your worlds make me sigh,
yet some,
lift my spirit high,

why did i let you in again,
just to cause me more pain,
your the cause of my tears,
but what did i ever do to you for you not to catch my rain,

i gave you another chance,
again i broke and loved you,
now i am falling from my problems and confusion,
and you aren't there and i don't know what to do,

we fight,
we love and smile,
but the happiness,
only lasts awhile,

i don't want to lose you again,
i want to stay with you forever,
but we have to work something out,
if we want to stay together...........

denysia Chapman-madden