by x Mo x Mar 15, 2007
category :
Life, society /
inspirational
Can you imagine the pain |
by Fsams
This is a very well written piece dear. Its really catching the heart and affecting my feelings. I read it with full concentration and I found it so lovely. |
by silvershoes
First stanza, I believe you meant "she," instead of "her." Second stanza is very strong and emotion-packed, third stanza falls slightly, but manages to keep the quality level up. Fourth stanza is overly simple. Fifth stanza is weak, somewhat un-needed. Sixth stanza, you should say "got sick again." Otherwise, the storyline becomes a bit confused. Last stanza is contradictory. Her heart is a part of her phsyical body, they are not seperated. |