Mom I'm sorry

I know I'm a handful
and a pain most the time
surprisingly I don't know why
I don't know what causes it
or how to make it go away
I don't know why I act that way
Or say the things I do
I guess I could blame fear
or the thought of losing you
Your not my real mom
At least not by blood
You could give up at any time
and send me back to her
I know you say you love me
and I have no reason to question that
But that doesn't stop the what ifs that run through my head
or the million fears I hold deep within
All I can say is sorry and tell you I'll try
but thats not a fix its just glue till next time