Nothing left

The words cut deep
the tears fall down
they fill my heart
until i drown

why do i stay
in this useless place
why do i bother
wasting space

sometimes the knife
just isn't enough
i feel the blade
i try to cut

i see the blood
but its only a drop
i need to cut further
but instead I stop

and i am still here
with all my scars
what will it take
how many xanax bars

theres not enough pills
to make it go away
i never take enough
to stop another day

why am i still here
why can't i just die
so sick of this life
sick of wondering why

why is it me
that endures all this pain
why i lose it all
time and time again

its only a matter of time
before i lose you too
so why wait and wonder
when my worst fear will come true

the one thing in my life
that makes it all OK
i cant hold onto forever
and worry every day

I'm so sick of this life
sick of these tears
let me cut deeper
and drink too many beers

let me take too many pills
i just want to let go
this pain i keep inside
can't take it any more

i want to go away
anywhere but here
i want to be someone else
anyone but me

what reason should i stay
when i feel so deprived
why should i even bother
when i don't want to be alive

id like to give up
id rather be numb
I'm not strong enough
to pull the trigger on the gun

i am tired
i am worn
i am weak
i am torn

nothings left
nothings gone
no reason
to carry on