I was in the school bathroom when it happened
I was alone
It always happens when I am alone
When no one is there to set me straight
No one is there to yell at me
To tell me that I am stupid for doing these things
The burning in my stomach becomes insane
It becomes unbearable
And the memories come back,
The memories of hate
The hate that others feel to-wards me
The hate I feel for myself
I do the only thing that comes to mind
The only thing that makes the aching pain leave.
I take the razor to my skin
And cut deep letting the blood flow out
Letting the pain vacate my body
I place my hand in the sink of running water
Letting the water wash away the hurt
But then the feeling of betrayal sets in
The betrayal of myself
And tears begin fall down my face
How can I do this to myself?
I know that I should not
I know that it is wrong
I want help
But I am afraid
I am afraid that no one will help me
That no one cares
Because no one cares
I am alone in this world
I have never felt love
I have never been in love
I feel faint
Have I finally gone past the unspoken limit?
I can not feel my arm
My gaze is fading
I can not see
I hear screams
They echo in the small bathroom
I want to cover my ears
I want to keep the screams away
But they will not go away
They will not stop
I can not have peace
The screams are holding me back
Keeping me from the light
The light that is calling to me
Someone is shaking me
Telling me that I have to wake up
Yelling at me
Does this person care?
Do they care enough to save me from my fate?
Will they save me from this hell?
Tears stream down my face
I feel the hands on my shoulders shake me
My mouth moves but can the person hear me?
The soft word help escapes my lips
But that is all I can do before the darkness takes over
It is too late, I am gone
