You lost it at the end but it really was sad =[

The fact that you wrote ended two different lines with together, it sort of threw the poem off. You rhymed the second and fourth line, but it stopped there but the end rhymed. A bit inconsistant. However, there were some really good lines in this poem. I really enjoyed it.

I wish it were longer it was so creative and good I just loved it! nice work

Very dark, but great imagery, great descriptions. I keep re-reading it and I like it more every time I do. I usualy don't go for the short poems as much, but this one i Find really good.
Great job. =)

Wow. beautifully written. i can actually relate to that, which isn't so great. but i love the way you took those emotions out and put them into words. amazing.