Wow i like it. the ending was a little different than i thought but it is still pretty good!! 5/5

~shanny~

Wow.. i loved this one to.
Great job, as always
Keep up the great work 5/5

Best of wishes

take care

So good i really like this one you totally have a talent great meaning

I know you wanted to say alot in this poem and by doing so I think you lost both the core message and path you wanted to take and the flow was off. I think if you had channel your thoughts and stayed with a certain formula of work this poem would show alot more of your true talents Plot121

The flow was a little off the structure was ok, but i rather didn't like this poem, but i have a few fave lines.
the look in your eyes have become so dark,
it's like your hiding something from me I'm afraid to know what,
there is no lightness, not even a spark.

There are grammar mistakes and as good poets we should pay particular detail to the use of grammar and punctuation, but also as poets we should understand the content and emotions within ones work, and the fact that they can overflow the grammar mistakes.
This poem was sweet, flowed well, had good imagery and made me smile.
love Tara-Kay
x

Another lengthy one but good! 5/5

Damn.. u won't run oout of words.. nice!!