Sometimes I wish...

Sometimes I wish that I never had friends at all,
Always sit silent & lonely with no one to catch me when I fall.
Sometimes I wish that tears really meant laughter,
Then my sad life might actually mean "Happily Ever After".

Sometimes I wish that you guys could actually look & see,
All the pain & frustration that you put upon me.
Sometimes I wish that these emotions that I share,
Would actually seem to phase you & make you want to care.

Sometimes I wish that instead of you thinking I want attention,
You could see that the crying & hurting are true screams for affection.
Sometimes I wish that you could witness me cry & scream,
& realize that you are all so cold-hearted & mean.

Sometimes I wish that you all actually knew what I meant,
& see all the time & hours that I have spent,
Just being upset crying & thinking about you,
because you are all so selfish & don't care what I go through.

Sometimes I wish that you could see how things used to be,
How perfect our friendship was & how much you mean to me.
Sometimes I wish that you could put yourself in my shoes,
Then you could see all the shit that you all put me through.

Sometimes I wish that you could see that you are wrong,
Because I know I am not the only one acting to be strong.
Sometimes I wish that you would feel the heartache & coldness,
but I'm sorry I can't do that to you because I'm not that selfish.

Sometimes I wish that I never had friends at all,
Always sit silent & lonely with no one to catch me when I fall,
So then when my so called "Best Friends" turn against me,
Then I could be just like all of them & not even care & see.

I'm sorry things ended up like this & everything is all wrong,
But I have held it all in & tried to be so strong.
It ticks me off when all you guys do is hurt me,
Then when I pick myself up off the ground you don't even care to see.

You don't even care what you do to me & are so rude,
I tried not to but I am going to have to be crude.
Because you don't know how it feels for this to happen to you,
Because I know that if you did you wouldn't get through.

I know you think I just want attention & I am not in any pain,
But when you see the sunlight I only see the rain.
You do this to me all the time & never care what I say,
You leave me out of everything & you believe it's all OK.

But I want you to know that it really does hurt & I hope one day you see,
What it looks like in my shoes & how rude you all seem to me.
When I look sad & lonely & that I could just cry,
It is because you left me & you don't even understand why.

You can go & make fun of me because I know you already do,
I really thought I loved you guys & when we said "best friends" it was true.
Sorry I guess that I thought wrong but I still love you so much,
I always told you that I loved you...(Honestly) a whole bunch!!!

Sorry that I don't treat you guys the way that you treat me,
I really want us still to be best friends but there was no other way I could make you see,
I don't want you to hate me & I know that I don't hate you,
I really just needed you to know & see what you put me through.

Honestly I love you with my whole entire heart,
I never wanted this to happen & I can't see us apart,
Because I know our old friend is still there,
Lurking inside...Over there...Or Somewhere...