I have erred and therefore i am dammed?

You are the society who did not hear the cries for help because you closed you ears and refused to listen. Instead you judged....

i am a delinquent
i remember, thats what you used to call me.
You derogated my single mother who worked three jobs to keep body and soul together.
You shamed her even though all she did was soldier on to try keep her family alive, physically.

The love my family once had was destroyed in between the fierce battles my mother and the father frequently fought against each other
My cries of fear was left to drown, unheard and lost in their screams.
The father i once knew left me in the tunnel- darkner and lonelier than it ever was.

i was with my mother and yet, i was alone.
You looked at me with such disdain and spurned my pleas for help.
You built me to be immune to love and care and showered me with such hatred and angst.
You turned me into a demon just like you, and yet, you blame me.

By the age of 10 i had been physically abused by my new stepfather,
later abandoned by my drug addict mother and rejected by my extended family.
I had nothing left of my faith nor courage .

I was already peddling with drugs for extra money, became increasing violent and ended up in soup with the law several times.
At 12, i had sniffed glue, taken drugs, fought, been a gang member, and caught for stealing food.
Then you locked me up at a juvenile home till i was 16.
I can still feel the aura of contempt you possessed when i was isolated from you.

I went back out with a new ray of hope.
Still, you neglected me.
You treated me even more worse than before.
Shaking your heads as though all hope is lost.
But who were you to decide my fate?

I left with no sense of identity except for the ones you imposed on me.
More often than i could bear, i was onymous as unwanted, unsought and outcast.
Once i again i turned into the fiend you fostered me into.

My early adulthood was introduced by drugs and prostitution.
The brothel became the warm and loving home i never had.
Pimps, madams and the men opened their arms to me with the love i never knew existed
For the first time in my wretched life i felt secure, only if it was for a short while.

Once again you threw me back on the streets, leaving me to wander my life away
The dirty, dark alley now my confederate.
You mock at me as though i have no heart and feelings of my own.
You sneer at me with such contempt topping it up with your scornful remarks

Yes it still burns deep down inside
You treat me lower than a rotting piece of flesh.
I have erred and therefore i am damned?

I am your sister, your father, your mother, your best friend, your love..
I used to be

I HAVE ERRED AND THEREFORE I AM DAMNED?

I am YOU
and I am ME