C.J. past issues

When i was 14 there was this guy
this guy that showed me love for the very first time
i thought he was my soul mate
my one and only by fate

but he left me broken and in tears for some other girl
i thought i was his everything; his world
but i found out that love isn't real
it's just undescribable things that you feel

so this boy is a bit older
but his heart is still colder
his name is c.j. and he used to be my only wish
yeah he'd be mad about this

i can't forgive him for breaking something i held so dear
but it's okay because love isn't real
forgive me lord
but you can't disprove me on this because im sure

ha why do i even care
it's not like he would even dare
we don't even really speak anymore
what a total bore

he's still a lovely boy; except he's now a man
a man that gave some other girl both of his hands
lord please forgive me for my sins
for this man captured me from within