For your first attempt.....well done!! ( I haven't done one of these either) Hope mine turns out as well as yours.

I love this. Love the message portrayed in this. I used to write these EVERYDAY back in 8th grade...but now...I don't think I could write one to save my life. Lol. This was excellent for your first try. The part that said "Like raisins drying in the sun" reminded me of the poem "Like A Raisin In The Sun". Heh. Anywho...I really did like this one. 5/5.

Love you.

` Liz

Sarah i must say this was a fantastic first attempt...i haven't finished mine yet (which will also be my first attempt)...you make it appear easier than it is...with your unique talent!

Oh that last line was powerful! Very sad and heartbreaking, yet so eloquent. Nice cinquain!