Excellent! 5/5 very good imagery and use of words. i really really like this poem!

I liked this poem a lot! Great word choice and flow. 4/5 xoxo

Samantha

Oh this is such a sad poem. how you added you into this was emotional. well done but it did bring a tear to my eye.

great work. 5/5 from your friend always, david

Awe *tear* that is so sad.

xoxo kisses

I liked this poem. it was sad, but still amazing. but then again the sad poems are usually the best ones.

Omg. awe ;/ So so sad. This was so full of emotion. Tears were brought to my eyes ;[ For a true story [I believe] you did amazing.. it flowed so well & the rhymes were good. Nothing seemd at all too forced.

In the little girl got, overwhelmed
^ I don't get that line.. Well, I think I do. I just don't think it's grammatically correct. maybe something like ''Then the little girl got overwhelmed'' or something like that?

Haha. anyways. So breathtaking & touching..

Beautiful, m'darlin'.

Bri [x]

This was a heartbreaking piece. I love the detail and description you used...I can picture it all happening in my head. Just one thing...I think the ending could've been a little different in wording maybe...I dunno it seemed to just stop quickly. Idk I can't really explain what I'm tryina say but it doesn't really matter. This was an amazing write all in all. I loved it. Keep writing! 5/5

` Liz

Aww this is really sad. It brought tears to my eays. Wonderfully written 5/5

<UnToLd TrUtH>

That was definitely heartbreaking. The rhyming flowed really well and overall I really enjoyed the read.

Nice poem.
The rhyming is great.

Fabulous job! 4/5

Keep it up

This is too sad, i almost cried just reading it, it flows perfectly, and wow, it was beautiful, 5/5 you are an amazing writer
gabriella

Wow so sad,is this really happened?
Then please don't worry yourself,in life everything is possible,The flow and wording was great
Keep it up

Okay, in the 10th stanza your comma should be after ' overwhelmed '

Other than that ONE mistake,t his poem was amazing, and it made me cry.
It was extremely touching, and sad.

I'm so sorry, hun.
If you need anything I'm here, ...even though we don't know each other.
Baha. :] Im still here to talk to.

10/5 :]
^ i wish I could give that vote!!

That is such a good poem..I loved the last stanzas the most they made you wonder what was about to happen next and you where determine to find out!!
It is suck a sad but yet interesting poem!!

Hey this poem is very sad. i wish i could be there with you to let you cry. i am always here if you need someone to talk to. k?

5/5 david

Aww... thats so sad. but it seems threww the middle u repeated the story over again... why did he die? it was very sad and i like how u put it in the POV of a little girl very nice

Oh my gosh, that is so sad. The flow was great and the rhymes worked. The descriptions were simple and gave it a uniqueness. I love it, keep it up hun. 5/5

Omg i can't even begin to imagine what you have gone through. what happened?? how did he die? that was what left you hanging at the end, like you have an idea that he's dead, but like you have no idea what happened. beautiful poem though, you kept my attention the entire time and wrote very nicely, good wording and flow. 5/5

Hey, Thanks for the comment on one of my poems. I love short poems, and i like to right them because it gets the reader to think about it more and question it, T.S. Eliot made a lot of short poems and they are amazing. Well thanks again
-Bryce

Wow this poem was anmzing, it has ao much emotion and it was a nice touch to put it in a little s view, i loved it very nice job you're a great writer 5/5!