Another smile to the list

I hide behind my smile
Not letting anyone see
My dark emotions
The tortured side of me

I know you wonder
I see it in your eyes
But I can sometimes hide
Behind my smile of lies

The pain is so strong it has me numb
So I cut myself deep in the vein
Not wanting to ask for help
Since I’m the one to blame

I silently begin to cry
Right in front of you
You ask me if I’m okay
But once again, I smile for you

One day I was almost gone
And you saw the scars on my wrist
You began to question once again
But I just added another smile to the list

Then the day came
When you found me on the floor
My pulse and life was gone
But my smile was able to hide the truth once more

By the time you finally got help
It was a smile too late
You learned to see a smile
And feel nothing but hate

Hate for not being there
For believing my smile of lies
For not taking the time to notice
That my smile was nothing but silent cries