Memory of My Loss

April 8, 2001

Where are you now?
You don;t have to be found.
You never have to acknowledge who you are
Or who you left behind.
But here I am
I cannot run away from myself
I cannot pretend that I did not create a life
Or that it belonged to another.
It must be nice to unattach yourself
by telling yourself a lie.

Do you ever stop to think?
And wonder what could have became of this life?
What if? What could have been?
Or have you pushed the thoughts so far away,
Out of sight, out of mind.
Maybe now, it is too far away to find.

Not for me though,
No, it can never be that way for me.
Reality has cursed me with it's presence
And from the actions of you and I,
I am cursed with more than a memory
More than just a thought,
But a life that was lost.

So many years have gone by
For you, maybe it was just another fling.
For me it was a gift
Taken away from me by ignorance and hate.
As your ignorance pushed me to the edge,
The hate grew inside me and replaced my gift.

And so I made a choice,
Right or wrong,
It is a choice I must live with.
I can only hope that you
Will live with it too.
And hope that my future will bring life
That is not met by ignorance and deceit
But love and security and happiness.