I owe you huge.

Again i bailed said i would come but couldn't bring myself to carry through... i guess those fears are still running strong in my mind. i know you have changed i see it clearly.

it is not just you whom has changed but me and her too. she has moved on now but no i still remain and you know it. you relay your thoughts when you are having a bad day and i am truly glad to hear the truth.

but i have not been totally honest i have been hiding things from you and when i informed you of this you said you knew i see that this was no lie and no one else knew, but you always know.

you have plagued my mind morning, noon and night day after day. and lately i appear to be avoiding you when you want me and you time i feel horrible knowing that I'm bailing and i also know that i owe you big time now. in the past you accepted my apologies as you do now but you keep reminding me if i want to make it up to you i know what i have to do.

you're right about that i do know. i just don't know whether i can, but you have been so perfect and wonderful. you've treated me like no one else did, you actually saw me everyday you listened to what was wrong you gave me all those hugs where i felt safe and like nothing could go wrong i hate to say no.

but until i tell you all the things i feel you need to know that i have not said a word about. i cant bring myself to say a yes and then carry through on it, i need answers and regretfully you may just be the only one who can give them to me so i will have to be with you just to get my answers so i can be happy again like i always am around you

hugs may not be enough but they will be a start, kisses the same applies. but my company may make a bit of a difference and i know that you have been feeling alone and maybe i can help. but you need to continue to understand me like you have in the past and know that you will have me always and forever.

i know i can be quite frustrating but then again being a Libra you know that i can be quite indecisive you also know that you are the reason i have come to change so much in the past year. you change me a little more every time we are together and its always for the better once again i am going to owe you but for two different things.

i know what you want and i know that it crosses my mind every day. from past experiences or memories, or even from our conversations that and the fact that i know you but no where near as much as you seem to know me, its still unusual to have anyone read me the way you do but then again its only you that is able to do it.