My life... (part 1)

by David   Mar 21, 2007


My life... (Part 1)
Started with me crying
And choking, face was blue
From then was fine and well
I was happy and smiling
But keep it a secret, please don't tell.

I grew up and was happy
Playing outside in the dirt
Learning what to do and say
I made mistakes, and they hurt
Yet kept going on each day

I was thriving on knowledge
And truly loved school
I was growing in courage
Yet was classed as uncool

I was broken and shattered
I feel down and didnt want to get up
Why bother, what mattered?

My friends tried to help me cope
To give me a sense of false hope

My life...

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6lines, 5 lines, 4 lines, 3 lines, 2 lines, 1 line.

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by xPerfect Chaosx

    Wow... great write as always David.. I love it... so well spoken, ok, written, lol. Flow and choice of words was wonderful as well!! The emotions were clearly present in the one.. 5/5 my friend
    Much Love,
    .:Danielle:.

  • 17 years ago

    by Jenni Marie

    I loved this, it was such a great write, filled with so much emotion and I thought the way you wrote it was original and unique.
    I thought the flow worked very well.
    You did a wonderful job with this.

  • 17 years ago

    by Gasttlee

    Thanks for the comment. Nice piece you got here by the way. 5/5

  • 17 years ago

    by Hebe

    Full of emotion, very nice poem.
    That's all I can say about this poem.
    Keep it up!

  • 17 years ago

    by Romantic Lover

    That was a nice poem with a unique style.

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