Gaining no pain

I paint a pretty picture
the twist is, its on my arm
I love nothing more
then causing myself harm

The pretty picture gets smeared
with blood flowing everywhere
I love to watch my skin
slowly rip and tear

I hear a pound
on my bathroom door
I get distracted
and my blood pours on the floor

I keep cuttingto quickly ease the pain
my boyfriends trying to come in
to make sure I'm not going insane

It's to late for me
I fill the sink with water and let my wrists sit
Its to late
for sorry and all the b*ll sh*t

I start to feel dizzy
and fall to the floor
when i wake up
I'm going through the Emergency Room doors
I can't believe i made it
I wanted to die
I am sick of this life
I do nothing but cry

I try again
the very next day
this time i try suicide
a whole new way

I go to the bathroom
and lock the door
to take two pill bottles
again I'm lying on the floor

No one finds me so i slowly die
the only thing i wanted ...was not 2 cry