No thankyou

by Drusus Bathory   Mar 22, 2007


Who is that man in the road I see?
The man who stares right back at me
Who do you speak of my beautiful boy?
The road is empty this is no time to toy

So he slept and he dreamt
Of spiral staircases and sent
To other places he went
And he lost it in the light

But late the next night

Who is that man in the road I see?
The man who stares at you mummy
His mother was afraid
So she frantically prayed
There was nobody there
But she died where she laid

He dreamt of black walls
And the children who fall
And a lonely passage
To the oven and fire
But they called him a liar

Now his mother is dead
And just words in his head
So he'll stand by the road
And he'll look for his bed
But the bed isn't there
An the house is laid bare
Bad memories stay
But he just doesn't care
And one day he'll see
The young boy that he'll be
And he'll answer his question
Boy this man is thee

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Latest Comments

  • 17 years ago

    by Woe

    Wow.. all i can say is wow.
    you are really good. someday i hope to find words as powerful as these. <3<3

  • 17 years ago

    by .K.i.T.t.Y.

    This piece had nice flowing, but the rhyming could be altered. When I read rhyming poems I prefer constistancy in them. This poems depth was interesting, and I'm still thinking about it, and what every word has to do with it. I'm absorbing all the poem has to say. It's a beautifully dreadful image. Something to read more than once.

  • 17 years ago

    by Darien

    Wow, that was a brilliant piece my friend. I really liked the rhyming in this one, and the flow was excellent. Everything seemed natural and not forced. There was a hint of darkness in this one, but it was more of an interesting read. Good to see some new talent on this site. Keep writing man.

  • 17 years ago

    by Run out of words

    Wow, that'spretty deep. I think I was a little confused in the beginning, I hope you don't really stress about that. However, by the time I got to them end I realized why you've categorized it in Dark & Fantasy. I think you're figurative language and way you express you're emotions are very good. Rather than just rhyming words straight out, you put them into thoughts and compare them and paint a picture with words. I really liked it.

  • 17 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Your so talented, keep adding them please and thanks for my comments, im not sure about my poems, think they are pants really xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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