Not exactly a poem!

I write poems but they all feel the same to me so im just going to write how i feel right now. forget the rhythm and rhyme im just going to say what is on my mind. dangit....i made it rhyme but that was an accident! lol. im the kind of girl who always feels like i need a guy in my life. why I dont know but i wish i knew. i just want to focus all my attention on God. I know i sound like a good girl (which im not) but the fact is, people only get one life. one. and I want to live it up to the best I can. And giving my everything to my creator and savior seems like a perty darn good plan to me. Lately i've been thinking a whole lot. Who I want to be and who i want to become. I want with everything in me not to get caught up in this world we live in today but its just so hard. My mom tells me I can do anything if I put my mind to it but for some reason that one just doesnt click. I live with several kids, (too many to count lol) and my parents arent like most. were not allowed to date, (grrr) were not allowed to wear skimpy things (grr even more lol jk) were not allowed to have cell phones, (we share 4 among the kids) we have to work for our money and so much more. Some people look at our family and think were crazy. But were not actually that crazy. Ya my parents are strict, but look at the world around us. Look at what it has become. It really blows my mind away. How can God look down at us and smile...? *sigh* it kills me to know that God is disappointed in us. But what can I do? How can I share God with people around me? what do i say? Im so terrified of pushing them away from God that i fail to say anything at all. That's just one of the many things I have to work on. Anyways...im the kind of girl who wants to have fun. If it has those three letters in it, you can always count me in. That tends to get me in trouble often but....i dont want to grow up! i dont want to have to think through things and think twice about doing them. i just wanna dive in and have F.U.N. o ya. sadly i cant keep doin that tho. gah. its all apart of growing up. i know im still gunna have fun but i think i just need to start pickin it up a lil bit. i hope some of yall know what im talkin about.
okay so heres the dealeO. im a maaaaaaajor flirt...(ooooopsie) i mean i just cant xactly help it! ive been in 3 relationships that i dont necessarily regret..jus wish I would have thought before some of the things I did. i want to be young and be loved....what girl doesnt? but i keep searching for love. Love is supposed to fine you and i keep forgetting that super important detail. lol. im sure most of you girls can relate here. at least i hope most of you can, cuz i dont wanna be a loner in this! but ya....i need patience. right about now..im just going to live my life and Im going to be happy. I want so much to meet the guy im going to marry and be able to grow up with him. It would be hard yes, but worth it oooooooooo ya. I dont know what God has in store for me but I'm ready for whatever it is. My prince charming will come sooner or later.....i guess he just stopped for directions. lol.
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guys: sorry u read about sum girl and all her inner thoughts...lol
girls: i hope u can relate here!