Story book life

Good job! It was a really good poem. I think that you could have done way better if you didn't try to rhyme this poem. It would have gotten the meaning across a lot stronger, in my opinion. Over all, it was really nice.

Mmm, I liked what you had to say, but I didn't care much for the way the stanzas were, punctuation is a must really, it makes it easier to understand, read and enjoy. But all in all, you aren't bad. Keep up the good work. =)
-Ally

I like the idea the I THINK you were trying to get at, but in parts it was a little confusing.
In the day dream, as you switch between scenes (wedding/car/space) there needs to be a break of some sort...also between class and day dreaming at the beginning and end. A subtle paragraph break should work. For example
"Sitting down in my chair
breathing all this thin
dried out air
no smile or grin
just an empty stare
into a silent room
thinking of all that is unfair

in a wedding hall
watching the groom
fall"

Oh and on the second line maybe you could drop "all this," it's easier on the tongue that way.
For now, I think that's enough to be going on with....would love to read again if you choose to edit...
Keep with the daydreaming storytelling idea though, that was good.