Little soundproof window

Life outside the window looks so perfect. You see the beauty, sweetness, even the protectiveness, and what might seem like love all the people looking in. Think love is a hug ,but the window is soundproof. why? If its so perfect because the sounds are not the same as the sight. Pressure pushing all around from every side. The people I really love don't love me they just tease as if its normal to build someone up. Like a house and watch it burn to the ground is this normal for all. Do people you love and that once loved you tell you they no longer care? why? do you sit with a razor debating if you want to do a little cut or just end it all? do you have a few you live for but you don't really think they would care as you fall in a puddle of blood? do people tell you they love you when you know they don't? do you take pills for the pain? do you wish you were just never born to save everyone the trouble of knowing you? I do.